Cute but Psycho

Have you ever wondered about ways you could spice up your relationship?

I have, and probably don't follow my advice, ever. 

It happened about two months into my relationship. We were obviously getting comfortable around each other (which is apparently normal). He was away on a golf trip with a bunch of friends, and I was going to a glorious flow yoga class on Thursday evening with one of my best friends. After the class, I opened my phone and saw a couple of texts from him asking how my day was and how yoga went. NOW let's remember that after exercising, especially in a sauna, your brain is not quite working properly. So I tell my friend, "I'm going to reply to **** and tell him I had a heart attack!"... at this point I was thinking I was pretty darn creative until my friend says "Rachel that is not funny at all, why would you do that?"

Okay so my idea wasn't that well received but when has that ever stopped me?

I formulated the most believable text message saying "Hello, this is Rachel's mother, Linda. Rachel was at hot yoga with her friend tonight and suffered a mild heart attack. She is at Lions Gate Hospital right now, and is feeling okay."

Hahahaha I can only laugh when I type that out. I am so hilarious. Especially because he had never even met my mother so this was technically their first interaction.

I really did not expect him to take it seriously but he did, because apparently a "heart attack" is not something you can joke about. I was definitely in the dog house for a couple of hours but I am pretty charming so was able to get out of it quite easily. 

MORAL of the story: unless you are really charming, like I, probably do not fake a life threatening injury to keep things new and exciting. Sometimes comfortable things are fine, like watching 4 hours of Shameless together while you eat a pint of dairy-free Ben & Jerry's  in front of him. I suppose if I were to give you any legitimate relationship advice though, perhaps write him a love letter, or give him a massage, or book a night at a local hotel for a stay-cation.

Seems a bit boring to me but whatever. 

Rachel